affinity designer eejits

[eejits]

I’m loving all this wordplay. It’s great fun trying to wrestle words together into a correct form, flow and funniness. Brilliant stuff. I should have hired you guys when I did my book!!

George

[jmwellborn]

On 1/16/2018 at 5:25 PM, eejits said:

Here's a lost soul. He's been 'first-footing' around Scotland, hoping to be the first visitor to people's homes after the New Year. Unfortunately, there's no takers for his customary gift of a lump o' coal!
 

Teehee!!

 

George

@eejits  Happy New Year, George!   And by the way, your own poems will be perfect for your little creatures.  No-one else could possibly understand them as well as their creator.  They are all so alive, so whimsical, and so perfect as they are, that a long "story" might possibly dilute their stunning effect.  When the holiday season is over it will be the perfect time to investigate the large book sellers' market in time for next year.  Just think!  "Eejits" on the "New York Times" best sellers list!!  Not to mention being featured in the "Wall Street Journal" section on Literature.

At the risk of being strangled at dawn, here is a last-minute offering for your charming little lost soul with his smudgy face (got any ideas @peter?)

A Lost Soul

A lump o'coal was all I had
   to bring this year. I am so sad.

This virus thing has done me in —
No pint of ale, no fifth of gin.
No Christmas loaf stuffed in a tin.

'Twas coal, just coal, I found for you.
If only you'd believe it's true!

Anon.

      

[eejits]

Happy Hogmanay and New Year to you too, to everyone here. Thank you for your kind words, I look forward to hearing what you think about my wee book and its rhymes.

I love your A lost soul wee rhyme! 😂 what does the last line mean though? Does he have more than just coal?

I’m working on new eejits stuff for 2021 and then we’re off to the big boys! Exciting!

George

[jmwellborn]

@eejits  Very deep.  No, he doesn’t have anything except coal, but with all those deliveries by FedEx, UPS, and who knows who else in this lockdown era, the people who answer the knock at the door are probably expecting something splendid in a package.  Poor little fellow!😢

Can’t wait to get the “Eejits,” due to arrive between Jan. 5-20!

 

[peter]

On 12/30/2020 at 7:15 PM, jmwellborn said:

At the risk of being strangled at dawn, here is a last-minute offering for your charming little lost soul with his smudgy face (got any ideas @peter?)

 

      

Yes Jennifer, you asked for it...challenge accepted! English translation used, as this is easier for me.

Apologies to George and Robbie Burns and the original writer.

I have inserted a particular Eejit into this poem; that should please George. Beat that Rabbie!

As I'm English: NYE, is not the same as Hogmanay. The english never had to go 400 years without Christmas

First footing, cleaning out the fireplace and burning juniper is a very Scottish tradition. Dipping into the icy Scottish waters around the Queensferry area is a Looney Douk idea.

You, Alfred and George are welcome to dissect this one, only 360 odd days to go, before the next first footing: so plenty of time to polish, then rehearse this one.

(Well that's 5 hours of Monday evening, that I'll never see again)

 

Scansions get lost in the bottom of a very large glass! 

That's my excuse, Your Honour!

 

Auld Lang Syne: the eejit

Should fossil fuels be welcome not.

Whiskey will do fine!

Should fossils fuels be welcome not
You could just bring wine!

CHORUS:

“Forsake this wild time of year

Forsake your party night!”

Eejitus bah-humbugium

Fuming, sulking all night.

 

And surely I’ll burn juniper!
And surely you’ll burn thine!

Is he allergic to happiness? Such,

A grumpy old swine.

Have you have swept out the old grey coals,
and cleaned the mantel piece?
But why are you covered in soot?
I shan’t inquire.

 

We too have dipped into the Forth,
In minus eight or nine;

Our clothes around us have not thawed
Stood next to your fire

And where’s ma towel, you Looney Douk?
Bah-hum's not a friend o’ mine!

 

And he’ll forsake all good-will, that,
Grumpy stripey swine.

[Alfred]

@peter: I think ‘mantel piece’ should be one word rather than two, and you’ve committed the cardinal sin of suggesting that ‘whiskey’ (with an ‘e’) ‘will do fine’, but apart from those quibbles I think you can award yourself a dram or three for a splendid effort.

[peter]

On 12/30/2020 at 6:10 PM, eejits said:

I’m loving all this wordplay. It’s great fun trying to wrestle words together into a correct form, flow and funniness. Brilliant stuff. I should have hired you guys when I did my book!!

George

I'm still up for hire.

[peter]

1 minute ago, Alfred said:

@peter: I think ‘mantel piece’ should be one word rather than two, and you’ve committed the cardinal sin of suggesting that ‘whiskey’ (with an ‘e’) ‘will do fine’, but apart from those quibbles I think you can award yourself a dram or three for a splendid effort.

Two rhymes this Christmas/NYE and 3 splendids...can't be bad. Thanks Alfred, this was another rush job.

Gulp! A typo: twice? Ermm, that's gonna involve a visit from the grammar cops, then death by bagpipes, at the gallows.

I don't like Scotch, Whiskey or Bourbon: so the only single malt I'd drink is a pint of ale.

Port and vodka, will do nicely too!🍷

(A good writer needs a better editor)

 

 

[jmwellborn]

@peter  Death by bagpipes?  Mon Dieu!  Them's fightin' words.  Bagpipes are the most spine tingling, soul stirring, courage producing sounds ever created by man.   As for Scots whiskey only a wee dram of Drambuie can top it.  But then I am an umpteenth generation American straight (via a circuitous path or two not limited to but including Culloden) from the Highlands via Lamonts, Murrays, MacDonalds, and MacGregors plus a lowland Scot or two who sneaked at various times into the family tree.🙄

[peter]

16 hours ago, jmwellborn said:

As for Scots whiskey

Jennifer, you did the same mistake as me. An erronous 'e'.

Scotch can only be made in Scotland. It's Whiskey with the extra letter 'e', is made elsewhere, historically Ireland. As for which is better, that's not my tipple, so I can't comment.

This is what the BBC Good Food Guide had to say about it.

Whisky’ derives from the Gaelic term usquebaugh which translates as ‘water of life’. Uisge means water. Beatha means life. It’s a term used for many types of invigorating spirits over time, for example Eau de Vie. In modern usage, whisky is from Scotland and whiskey is from Ireland.

The difference comes from the translation of words from the Scottish and Irish Gaelic forms. In the late 1800s, Scottish whisky was also very poor quality therefore the Irish producers wanted to differentiate their product. These days though, both Scotch and Irish are two of the greatest spirits on the planet. 

 

[jmwellborn]

@eejits  Your delightful little "Eejits" books, badge, and the Bahoochie card game arrived today, all the way from Scotland in 10 days!   A Christmas card I mailed from South Carolina (USA) to New York City (USA) ---a distance of 650 miles -- took 19 days.  Amazing.  George, your book is charming.  All the entries are wonderful.  My favorites are definitely Eejitus sphagnum whoosh and Eejitus grimble snort -- both the illustrations and the poem are inspired. (The little knife and fork are such a splendid touch.)  And the numbers of inventive little Eejits in the game are a delight.  I predict that the gentle whimsy, remarkable drawings, and lovely colors are going to take the world by storm.  Even down to those four tiny little fellows on the back cover.  Small children should be entranced by the pictures, and their parents will definitely have a slightly r-rated chuckle!

Affinity Designer in the hands of a genius is beyond compare!!

For my own amusement, I had written some doggerel for several of your little creatures over the past several months when bored.  I am delighted to know that I wasn't wrong about Eejitus whatyoumeanshareium. 

My version, really more for adults than little ones.

This cookie's mine, you silly fool!
Want me to share? The Golden Rule?
Think chocolate chips just grow on trees?
Or in a hive, saved there by bees?
Find your own 'cause I don't care.
Oops, I'm alone. No friends out there? 

Jennifer    

[eejits]

1 hour ago, jmwellborn said:

@eejits  Your delightful little "Eejits" books, badge, and the Bahoochie card game arrived today, all the way from Scotland in 10 days!   A Christmas card I mailed from South Carolina (USA) to New York City (USA) ---a distance of 650 miles -- took 19 days.  Amazing.  George, your book is charming.  All the entries are wonderful.  My favorites are definitely Eejitus sphagnum whoosh and Eejitus grimble snort -- both the illustrations and the poem are inspired. (The little knife and fork are such a splendid touch.)  And the numbers of inventive little Eejits in the game are a delight.  I predict that the gentle whimsy, remarkable drawings, and lovely colors are going to take the world by storm.  Even down to those four tiny little fellows on the back cover.  Small children should be entranced by the pictures, and their parents will definitely have a slightly r-rated chuckle!

Affinity Designer in the hands of a genius is beyond compare!!

For my own amusement, I had written some doggerel for several of your little creatures over the past several months when bored.  I am delighted to know that I wasn't wrong about Eejitus whatyoumeanshareium. 

My version, really more for adults than little ones.

This cookie's mine, you silly fool!
Want me to share? The Golden Rule?
Think chocolate chips just grow on trees?
Or in a hive, saved there by bees?
Find your own 'cause I don't care.
Oops, I'm alone. No friends out there? 

Jennifer    

Aww. Thank you so much. I don’t think I’ve had such a wonderful review or write up. You’ve really made my night.

I’m just so happy they got there safely. Good ol’ UK/USA  post offices!

I really hope that this is the year that a lot more kids and parents take notice o’ my wee eejits. They’ve been bumbling around here long enough, some of them have eaten all the biscuits and others are annoying the dog. They really need to go out into the wider world and explore. Release some o’ that pent up energy!!

Man, I so happy. Thank you once again for the kind words!

George

[eejits]

Peeps. Are you ready?

THE CLANS ARE COMING! The evolution of eejits is happening.

Find out more on www.patreon.com/eejits

George
 

[peter]

Good luck with the launch George; the bagpipes really bring them alive.

What did you think of my reworking of Auld Lang Syne?